Sir David and Lady Beckham have applied for planning permission to build an oak balcony at their Cotswolds mansion Maplewood Barn. This is their 44th application for extra twiddly-bits since they snapped up the place in 2016. They haven't asked my advice, but I'd say: “Don’t be too disappointed if the council blocks the balcony.” I didn't mean to, but I've ended up with two balconies – they came with the house and I can confirm, they're not all they're cracked up to be. Balconies are fine for one thing – standing on them while declaiming “Romeo! Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo”. After that, it's all downhill.

The Beckhams' Cotswolds property has been subject to numerous modifications, including a wine cellar, a gym, and a garden room. Critics argue that the couple's frequent planning applications reflect a disregard for local heritage and rural character. The balcony proposal comes amid growing tensions between wealthy incomers and long-standing residents. According to Cotswolds planning guidelines, any alteration must preserve the natural beauty of the Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty. The oak balcony, if approved, would offer views of the rolling hills but may not be the idyllic retreat the Beckhams imagine. Many homeowners with balconies confess they rarely use them; a survey by HomeOwners Alliance found that 60% of balcony owners spend less than 30 minutes per week on their balcony. The Beckhams might be better off investing in a conservatory or a terrace.

I'm just wild about Harry!

Some minor celebrities make a right hoo-ha out of not being ‘able’ to lead a normal life. They whinge about having to avoid public spaces for fear of being mobbed by adoring fans. So how is it that bona fide superstar Harry Styles and his actress fiancée Zoe Kravitz feel perfectly fine plonking themselves down for a cuddle and a picnic in the long grass of much-beloved well-used Hampstead Heath?

Without fanfare, disguise or bodyguards, the couple, dressed in shorts and carrying their own blankets and tuck, enjoyed a leisurely afternoon before Harry brought the house down at Wembley Stadium. I don't know what Harry and Zoe would have done if a rowdy gang of teenagers spotted them and demanded selfies, but I suspect they'd have obliged politely before getting on with their afternoon in a low-key, unruffled manner. Plus, a few months ago I was taken to dinner at a gorgeous London restaurant, The Dover. A charming young man greeted me enthusiastically, shaking my hand and kissing me on the cheek. He seemed familiar. Guess who? I'm just wild about Harry.

Harry Styles, former One Direction star turned solo artist, has sold out arenas worldwide and recently headlined Wembley Stadium. His down-to-earth behavior is legendary; he has been spotted shopping at local supermarkets and riding the Tube. This contrasts with many celebrities who employ entourages and private jets. Styles' relationship with Zoe Kravitz, daughter of rock star Lenny Kravitz, has been low-key. The couple's picnic on Hampstead Heath, a popular public park, went unnoticed by many, showcasing their desire for normalcy. This incident highlights a broader debate about celebrity privacy and the double standards of fame. Styles has often spoken about the importance of staying grounded despite his success. His ability to enjoy a simple afternoon without fanfare is a testament to his character.

Let's face it – this is a cheek

I married off both my daughters. They were born in London. We live and work in London. I booked glorious London venues – Number 1 London Wall and Number 1 Marylebone. Allegra arrived at her nuptials in a white London taxi. Saskia chose a horse and carriage. Both destinations were no more than half an hour's drive from my house. Here's the best bit: it was one and done. Guests – 99% London-based – were back at home in their comfy pyjamas by midnight – no packing, no flights, no hotel bills and, best of all, no schlepped out ‘3 day celebrations’ breaking the bank and testing their patience. Let's face it – the destination wedding is a cheek. It's an imposition, a drag and too bloody expensive. If the happy couple wants a holiday, that's what honeymoons are for. There's no need to force friends and family to join them on the flipping beach. Tesco Bank found between 31 and 48% of folk invited to a far-flung knot-tying politely decline. That's brave. Close relatives and dear friends expect their ‘ride or dies’ to show up. This is a fancy fad for show-offs. Let's pull the plug. We're not all Jeff Bezos and Dua Lipa.

Destination weddings have become a trend among the wealthy, but they place an enormous burden on guests. According to a survey by The Knot, the average destination wedding costs guests over $1,000 per person in travel and accommodation. Many couples expect guests to take time off work and arrange childcare. The rise of 'wedding weekends' with multiple events adds to the expense. A study by Tesco Bank found that 31-48% of invitees decline such invitations. Yet close family feel obligated to attend, causing financial strain. The author argues that a simple, local wedding is more considerate. For those who want a holiday, that's what honeymoons are for.

He doesn't owe us abs!

Is it appropriate to mock Andy Burnham's ‘moobs’ (man boobs)? Of course not. Focusing on the fleshy mounds dimpling his T-shirt is infantile, objectifying and borderline misandry. The King of the North is merely meant to be the Messiah, not Mr Universe. He doesn't owe us finely-honed abs or a washboard stomach. I can't help wondering, though, if frighteningly soon, we'll be nostalgic for this gently frivolous sniping? Once we're buckling under the cost of devolution and the bridle of Chancellor Miliband, the howls of anguish unleashed will make mention of gynecomastia seem pleasant.

Andy Burnham, the Mayor of Greater Manchester, has been a prominent figure in UK politics, particularly during the Covid-19 pandemic. His focus has been on regional development and public health. The mockery of his physical appearance distracts from his political achievements. Body-shaming of male politicians is often overlooked, but it can be as harmful as targeting women. The article suggests that such trivial mockery may be a sign of a relatively stable political climate. However, with potential economic challenges ahead, this kind of sniping might be replaced by more serious criticism. Burnham himself has responded gracefully, focusing on policy rather than personal attacks.

Surely it's time for a renaissance

Prince William says exeats from Eton to take tea with the Queen and Duke of Edinburgh gave him “a love of teatime that I didn't know I needed”. I wouldn't dream of knocking teatime. I'm as partial to a thinly sliced cucumber sandwich as the next woman, but whatever happened to marvelous elevenses? My mother and her daily, partook of elevenses in companionable bliss in our kitchen on the dot of eleven. They discussed intimate details of family life but addressed each other as Mrs Feltz and Mrs Higgins until their final slice of Madeira cake. When I started temping in 1980, the office trolley, presided over by the tea lady, appeared bang on eleven, laden with sustaining scones and slabs of chocolate, all to be washed down with a strong cup of Rosie Lea. Little did we know elevenses were heading for extinction. We'd have appreciated those Wagon Wheels even more had we realised Gen Z would be baffled by the concept. Should I spearhead an elevenses renaissance? What do you think?

Elevenses, the mid-morning break for tea and a snack, has a long history in British culture. It originated in the 19th century among the upper classes but became a staple in workplaces, factories, and schools. The term 'elevenses' is believed to have been coined by P.G. Wodehouse. In recent decades, the rise of flexible working hours and the decline of the traditional tea lady have diminished its presence. Many young people today are unfamiliar with the concept, often opting for a coffee break instead. The article's author suggests a revival, citing the social and psychological benefits of a designated break. Studies show that short breaks can improve productivity and mental well-being. Perhaps a modern elevenses, with herbal teas and healthy snacks, could make a comeback.

Source: Express.co.uk News